Day 3- Love is not Selfish

Day 3- Love is not Selfish

            Well, I think I am not a selfish person, but I quickly found out that I actually am. But I did a search on www.youversion.com and found 84 verses in the ESV about selfish!

I Love this one… James 3:16 ESV - For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.

So I ask myself, where in my life do I have disorder? Ummm helloo, the reason I’m doing this 40 day challenge… my relationships- especially some of The Most important ones! And then I sat and thought, what about my relationship with the One who matters the MOST, it has been chaos at best, not just my husband, but my Heavenly husband. WOW. What a revelation. With everything going on in my life, the 2 miscarriages this year, our daughter, our home, my relationships and lack thereof. I have had waves of following, waves of disorder. I sometimes (ok a lot) bottle up and don’t talk to my husband or God like I should- and that’s being selfish. Selfish me wanting to handle it my way… wow… At least I am finally getting it.

So Its time to get out of the selfish mode and get on with being a unselfish. Letting go of me and my wants and my way of handling things and my way of doing things and let Him have His way with me. Let my husband actually lead me, and not try to be the leader like I am apt to do..

Ahhh this… this is good stuff… Cant wait for tomorrow.

Day 2- Love is Kind

Day 2- Love is Kind

            So I didn’t think this one was too hard, at first.. Haha.. I feel I do a lot of kind things for my husband, although he would say he doesn’t notice them. Maybe because I tend to do more everyday things he wouldn’t notice. See we are a not a “normal couple” under the traditional sense. I work outside the home full time and he is a stay at home father/teacher- he homeschools our 6yr old. A little bit of role reversal in some aspects, which makes it difficult. So I try to be kind by not whining about what he hasn’t done (the dishes, picking up the house, cleaning) and I just do them. SO the book says being Kind involves 4 things:

Gentleness: Definitely where I need help, I am harsh, not sensitive and not tender. I tend to be a mean what you say and say what you mean and just put it out there kinda person. Oftentimes it doesn’t come out gentle at all- this is one thing for sure my husband would agree on.

 Helpfulness: I believe I am pretty helpful, but I sometimes don’t always meet the needs of the moment

Willingness: It says its choosing to be agreeable and not obstinate.

Initiative:  I don’t always do it first I’m too tired, too busy, too worn down, I have lots of excuses. But I do feel I Forgive first and stand down (if you will) first ALL the time. I don’t fight for my cause long, I usually give up and just “let him have his way” rather than fight.

Ephesians 4.32 - Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

I really need to take this to heart and be a lot kinder. See at first you think, “oh yeah I am kind”, but when you dig into what kindness is, it’s a different story altogether.

Today patience was a bit hard to, trying to think about being kind, and being patient!

Day 1 - Love is Patient

Rough hard day for the 1^st Day! If they could have moved this to the middle of the book and not the first one, since its the thing I struggle with the most, that would be nice. But I wasn’t asked, and God knows what I need. It was rough. I tried REALLY Hard though. I did pretty good. I had a moment where I was driving, and he was in the passenger seat(like normal!) and I just went on auto pilot going to Kroger and got in the left turn lane, when I had wanted to go straight to go to Aldi. I totally spaced it. So as the story goes, we are sitting at the light, and as the light turns green, and then when I’m in the middle of the turn, he goes, “where are you going? Aldi is the other way” I snapped back a hasty reply of “well why didn’t you remind me earlier!? Ugggh”... Yeah, a really bad moment. I caved into the un- patientness. It sucks. I was working so hard on it too... There were many other moments that I Made it thought though! Small victory dance! I would say that its been the hardest for me yet and its only the first day...

I also notice that I think I need to wake up earlier to read my devotion. Currently I end up reading it at noon, and I have already talked to my husband several times. So I loose a chance to implement things. Wish I could get this book on mp3 so I can walk and listen to it at the same time. maybe I can.... I will have to check into it... It would be nice.

anyways here is to day 2. Patient and something else…... Cant wait to see the end results..